wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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