I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Randomize