we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize
