:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
