I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Randomize
