its not stalking. its research.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
