Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
