she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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