I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
