she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
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