Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
