I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Randomize
