Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
