I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
