Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
