i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
