ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
