hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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