im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
