All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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