I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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