i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
