Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
