Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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