Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Randomize
