apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
where are you?
Hypothermia
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
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