She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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