So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
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Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.