I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
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He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
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Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
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