I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
