Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
