wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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