Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
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