Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize