At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
We got so high we made milksteak
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
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