so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
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