im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
This can only be settled by a dance off.
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