Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I want to have your abortion
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
