so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Randomize
