Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Ketchup is God's man juice
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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