I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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