She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Randomize
