Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
