i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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