In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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