shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
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