I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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