Porn is love you can see.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Randomize
