Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
