We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
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The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
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and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
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