Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
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Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
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