My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
