I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
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