Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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