Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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