Please, let me fuck your mom
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
she looked like the before picture.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
