really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
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It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
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