bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
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