i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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