Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
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