I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize
